Tu

Ontem vi-te, vi-te como não mais queria ver-te. E já te vi assim mais vezes nos últimos tempos e eu não queria, tu não merces e eu não mereço esta tortura.

Antes consegui sempre dizer-te que já não me enfeitiçavas, no momento H conseguia ver a realidade e fugir do teu abraço e agora.... agora voltou tudo de novo. Ontem tornaste-te real, acessível e eu voltei de novo a sentir um aperto no coração, a vontade de te ter, a lembrança do passado que nunca irei esquecer, os bons e os maus momentos. Vieste novamente de mansinho tentar o meu coração vulnerável, que eu tão bem tapei para parecer outro, vieste novamente fazer-me sentir pequenina e ofuscada por ti. Senti-me sufocar por estares ali, por não mais te ter aqui, senti-me amordaçada pelo que vi.
Corre, corre, foge, foge, não me afogues em ti, estou a sonhar, estou acordada.
E acordei, estava a sonhar o sonho que mudou de figura. O que é que eu estou a sentir, se é que voltei a sentir depois de ti, sai de dentro de mim. Já foste, não mais vais ser, por isso faz-me esquecer-te!

Sem desculpa!

Ontem portaste-te mal, ontem portaste-te muito mal. Não interessam as razões, não são para aqui chamados os motivos. O que fizeste não tem desculpa, não há motivo que justifique o que fizeste, não fazes ideia o quanto me desiludiste e me magoaste por dentro. Não mais me terás como até agora e uma coisa te garanto, não deixo passar duas como esta, provavelmente estás com mais remorsos do que eu magoada, mas podes ter a certeza que se houver uma próxima podes esquecer-me. Não tolero o que fizeste e merecias que te tivesse feito o mesmo, mas eu sou superior a isso e, se tens amor a ti próprio, é melhor não me provocares ou hei-de lembrar-te do que fizeste até os remorsos te consumirem por dentro. Não queiras conhecer o meu lado mau, eu não quero libertar o meu lado mau, eu não gosto do meu lado mau, não me faças magoar-te! Não me faças ser horrível, peço-te!

Old new words

Old new words

Oh my love, how lonely and cold have been these days, loneliness and shadows embrace me and darkness, sweet darkness is all around. I love darkness and take her as my friend, but darkness semms much more comfortable and beautiful when you are with me. You enlight my life and my night with your silver rays and blue shadows, you heat the blood in my veins and shake my soul. Only the knowing of your presence and the preview of your touch makes my body pulse, all my muscles put into tension and my heart beating quicker and quicker. In you I found a shy and fearful soul only waiting to find someone who sees you as you really are, to show all the mighty within, all the beautiful thoughts and feelings you have, all the love you have to give. And so, the tiny little soul is a shining one with so much power that it enchanted me and in you I see everything I always wanted in someone and in you I rediscovered myself for I was lost for so long.



And for you, old eternal ghost of my life, the beggining and the end, the sadness of joy, love and hate, for you I feel eternal gratefulness for you taught me how to never feel wick, never feel too much nor regret too much. With you I learned the hardest of the life lessons and how to carry an endless feeling that will never(more) be satisfied (again?)

A Wolfrider's Tale

"Long ago, before the first of the Wolfriders, before even the coming of the High Ones, the world was very different from the one we know now.
The animals ran the forests and the plains alone...humans had only just begun to change from the bears that they used to be...
Looking over the world each day was Lifegiver, the day star. Though his radiant smile allowed the plants to grow and the animals to prosper he was empty inside. At the end of every day, Lifegiver would disappear over the edge of the world, to sleep in his sorrow.
You see, he was unaware that the world was not lost to darkness while he took his journey. For every night, when Lifegiver had left the skies, Silverseed, the Moon, took his place.
But Silverseed was as lonely as Lifegiver, longing for companionship.
One evening, the day star lingered long on the horizon, unable to sleep in his loneliness. The moon appeared as usual, her cool light partially hidden away by her shroud of sadness and solitude.
Lifegiver was so startled by the appearance of Silverseed that he ran away, unable to understand what he had seen.
All through the night, Silverseed thought about the new figure she had seen in the skies...she hastened along her path, rushing to meet the other side of the world. Lifegiver had also hurried, he rose earlier the next day, his rays brighter than before...but his newly discovered friend was not to be seen.
Lifegiver was sad, until he saw the shy Silverseed appear early on the horizon.
As their eyes met, the day star and the moon felt something they had never felt before...it was the hunger of Recognition. So it was that they met in the center of the sky, joining together in a glorious embrace.
Their passion was so strong that they thought little of the world below. Silverseed's cool caresses blocked out Lifegiver's light and, for a time, the day became night.
But then they remembered their responsability to the young world and, reluctantly, the two separated.
Still, because they had now shared each other, their paths were not quite so lonely as before. In time, the recognition brought forth a new life into the sky, Silverseed gave birth to Dawnbringer.
Now the family created a new dance in the heavens. At times, the day star would appear in the sky longer, and at the others, the two moons would lengthen their stay.
Sometimes, in memory of Silverseed's old loneliness, mother and daughter cloak themselves, but later, in celebration, they come forth whole.
Now and then, even in the daylight, you can see the mother and the daughter visiting with the father. Today it was Silverseed renewing her love with Lifegiver."


Joyleaf (from the world of Two Moons, somewhere in a wonderful deep forest)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, merry christmas, OHOHOHO!!!

Why won't you all just shut up and let me sleep, let me be. I don't want to feel merry, I don't want to sit at the Christmas Eve table and pretend I'm oh so happy when the only thing I want is to be alone. I'm sick of trying to be with you all, I'm sick you don't understand me at all. So please just let me be, let me sleep. Just shut up!!!

Hope, Hope not

Here we are, in a world of suicide
Feeling dirty, all human's pride
In the street, children passing by
There's no birds, but still watch the sky

In my mind, wishing for a life
Inside a cave, ignoring human's pride
Running free, without a street
A liberty youth won´t meet

Destiny in nature's hands
Living free as we pretend
Waterfall beating on the stone
I just hear industrial tone

We can't leave the trees helpless
Gaia needs a sweet caress
Soon it's too late to heal
Oh Mother, this is too real!